I'm 29, and I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy in Luxembourg for 3 years now. He said he loves me.

I met this guy in Paris. He is from Italy. Then I went to China for work. He has visited me twice in Paris and twice in the Far East. That's a total of three years long distance relationship. We both spent a lot of money in internaional phone calls, sms. We chat almost everyday on yahoo. I have been trying to get employment in his area Luxembourg, but it's not one of the easiest places to find work as a teacher. But inspite of how much he ';loves'; me, he is not willing or ready to marry me, since he said it's against his principles. But I don't see it that way. We love each other and this distance is causing us a great deal of pain. Besides, he said I'm one woman he truly enjoys conversations and exchange of ideas, even outside of the relationship. Now I'm working on getting an employment contract in Spain, it's nearer to Luxembourg than China just to stay nearer to him. I'm now very close, it will take less than a year. But he says he wants to stop this relationship.I'm 29, and I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy in Luxembourg for 3 years now. He said he loves me.
He has been dishonest with you. You can't change a dishonest person. Don't put all of your stock into a relationship that is on shaky ground. Move on and find someone that will be able to commit to you. Why waste any more of your young years on him?





I stayed with a man for twelve years that would not commit. He kept saying that it would happen eventually. It didn't, and by the time I left him, I realized that I was 12 years older with less to offer, and fewer opportunities to choose from. Don't waste your life too. You deserve better.I'm 29, and I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy in Luxembourg for 3 years now. He said he loves me.
Oh hell no. When a guy leaves you for another girl and comes crawling back don't accept him back in you're life because he might do it again! you can never trust a guy like that. No wonder why he didn't wanna marry you.
I would dump him and find another that will never dump me and stay with me and never broke my heart so take my advice in move on find someone that will never hurt u or lie that will take care of u 4 ever
MOOOOOOOOVE ON. dont waste any more time than you have already.
Wash that man right outta your hair!
I would move on. It sounds like he prefers the distance because it allows him to do things with other people. Don't rearrange your life for him, because he is not willing to do it for you. If you move this relationship seems like it will end, he doesn't want anything serious from you.
The thing about long distance relationships is that they select for the commitment-phobes... It's so easy to say ';I love you'; when the consequences of saying it are near-meaningless.


And, as far as I've ever seen, anti-marriage ';principles'; go right out the window when a guy is really in love. When he's in love, he'll be ready to marry you.


That's how you tell that this one isn't on the right track. Not to say that you shouldn't go to Spain. But find a nice young Spanish man to love. Nearby.





... Love is a lot about proximity and familiarity. It's not romantic to say that, but it is.





Good luck!
I'd forget about him, and move on with my life here. You really don't get to know a person until you've lived with them for quite some time, and a few weeks here and there + phone calls is NOT truly living with and learning about someone.





I know this isnt what you want to hear, but you're his ';fantasy'; girl - he can be whoever he wants to be, or who you want him to be while hes talking to you. It's not really him. Thats why he doesn't want things moving forward at all. He knows the fantasy would be over, and he's not interested in reality. He uses you to escape from it now.





It sounds like a facade, even though he probably does care for you. Thats why he doesnt want you moving to where he is - he'd have to let down the facade and disappoint you, or disappoint himself, and lose the fantasy of it all. You give him attention in the ways he needs it to feel good about himself, and its safe that way, because you're miles and miles away. He can carry on with business as usual at home, and no matter what he's done that day, he can talk to you at night and feel like a good man who is desired and loved unconditionally.





You deserve more than that. You don't have to build up a man that far away - especially one who claims to care for you that much. If he really cared that much, he would have moved near you by now, or jumped at the chance for you to move near him. He's dragging his feet because he doesn't want the party to be over. Its going to hurt, but lose him.