How do I deal with a long-distance engagement (without the cliche' answers)?

My fiance' and I are having a 6 month long-distance relationship. He's in New York working and I'm in Oregon. We hardly get to see each other bc of finances, and I know all the typical, ';get skype,'; ';text alot,'; ';make sure you hear each other's voice every day'; answers. They're all good. But does anyone have any unique advice that really works (no offense to the other people)? It's really hard on me, and when everyone says, ';oh, it's not forever, and you're getting married soon,'; it doesn't help. advice?How do I deal with a long-distance engagement (without the cliche' answers)?
I got engaged while my husband was working in California and I was going to grad school in Texas. When we got married, I still had to finish two semesters, so for about 6 months AFTER we were married, he was in California and I was in Texas. We spent a total of about two years apart.





This was 31 years ago, so we didn't have the options you mentioned about skype, texting, etc. And we couldn't afford to call each other every day-- far from it.





So, what we did:





1. We budgeted for visits as frequently as could be managed (once every 2-3 months). My husband travelled on business a lot and he could usually swing it to drop by to see me at minimal cost every couple of months. He'd spend a long weekend and we'd shove everything else to the side so we could be with each other.





2. We wrote actual snail-mail letters, which have the advantage now, 31 years later, of being treasured mementos of our early relationship. At the time, it was a great comfort to me to spend time writing to him, and then reading and re-reading his replies. And we got each other silly little gifts, things that didn't cost much and weren't very big.





3. We sent each other recorded cassettes so we could hear each other's voices. That was good too.





4. We concentrated-- HARD-- on the things we had to do that were the reasons we were apart: he spent a lot of hours at work, concentrating on important projects; I spent a lot of hours studying and doing my research project, buckling down and trying to get as much done as we could.





It was hard, there's no doubt about it, but it was the right decision for us. If you're looking for something to make your separation stress-free, you aren't going to find it; being apart from someone you love early in your relationship as a couple is very tough, and the well-meaning comments of people who second-guess your decision make it harder. I found that there are actually quite a number of people who take perverse pleasure in casting doubt on what you're doing because they are intrinsically mean-spirited and like to see people fail. I have to say that thinking how much joy these people would get if they knew how tough being separated from my husband was helped me to remain resolute in toughing things out and keeping a positive attitude.





If you and your fiance feel that you are doing the right thing, then hang in there and take things a day at a time. Concentrate on work. Use the methods you have for staying in communication and plan for the time you will have together.





My husband and I celebrated our 31st anniversary this past May. The beginning was a stressful time, but it worked out for the best for both of us.How do I deal with a long-distance engagement (without the cliche' answers)?
when you text make sure you talk about the important stuff. and take advantage of every second you get him. i'm away from my fiance for 2 years. its hell. i know it sounds totally cheesy, but write letters, like real letters. it is a nice romantic surprise. also keeping a journal really helps because sometimes you don't always have time to work stuff out and its just best to write it down so you can talk about it later. this really helps.and it helps to focus on the short term.like, the next weekend he gets to come home instead of when this is over. one day at a time ya know.good luch
me and my fiance were in a 3 year long distance relationship. him in Virgina and me in Washington state. we only got to see each other once because i can't fly and he couldn't come over here because he was under age.





the most we did was we called each every other day, if we had nothing to talk about we would just ask each other what we did that day.. say we loved each other and went on with our life.





sometimes we would play lineage 2 together and gang up on noobs and kill them in game.





that's really what i found worked for us. playing a game together and just talking every other day.. even for a couple minutes. if the relationship is meant to last it will.. if it's not it's not..








Edit: also wanted to put in me and my EX both went through the military so there were months that we weren't togeather, we got along with just writing letters (he wrote far less when i was in basic.. but thats cause he was a cheating *** hole) and talking to each other on the phone when we were allowed to.
I had two months of that when we did not see each other at all at the start of our relationship. And lately my now husband has been away for a month. It does not become any easier.


Apart from what you have already said there is not that much you can do. I have found to keep busy and to do a lot of sports has helped me cope. Doing things that are important for the both of us.





It takes my mind off it. What I have found that does not help me is going ot with friends. It makes me sad to do things I want to do with him, but also I want to tell him all about it when i cuddle up to him and I can't It sort of emphasizes the loneliness to me. No matter how sweet my friends and family are in that respect.





Good luck, it is hard. But I see that as a good thing., it means you do deeply care about each other.
There is no easy answer. But I suggest that you find a way to see each other about every 6 - 8 weeks. Meet in-between if you need to but the physical contact and close proximity is absolutely important. Since you are getting married soon, take this time as time for yourself. Go make new friends, take up a hobby that you've always wanted to try out. Have fun. Believe it or not, living a full 'single' life and learning to enjoy being along will enhance your relationship and your marriage. It will also help you cope with the time away from each other.





My husband and I dated each other for about 8 months while he was in Asia and I in CA. We went from being inseparable to not seeing each other for months at a time. It was tough, but we made it. Looking back, I wish I had spent more time with my friends and enjoying life instead of burying myself in work.





Hang in there. I'm rooting for you.
my fiance and i will be apart for 3 months which is clearly not as much time as you and your fiance, what I have done is planned at least 2 weeks in advanced (for a cheap flight) for a trip to see him at least 1/2 times in the whole time apart. i've been once to see him for less than 24 hours. it was a fast trip but we enjoyed ourselves the short time we were together. we talk and text everyday. we are reminded of the things that brought us together in the first place and we talk about those things often and occasionally we have a disagreement (over the phone lol, it seems silly to write this but it keeps us grounded) life is not kisses and i love yous all the time...absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. I wish you well
I was in the exact same boat! It is very hard... I am not going to lie to you, I cried more in those few months than I think I have in my entire life.





We did the whole skype thing and texted and talked all of the time, but it wasn't the same... and sometimes it made it harder to be apart.





My biggest thing was to sleep as often as I could. Every minute you sleep is one less minute you are physically and emotionally missing him. You may dream about him, and that is always great! But, when you are sleeping you don't have that empty gut feeling that aches all the time. That was my thought process.





In the end, it will all work out.. but there is nothing anyone can say or any advice that you can follow that will make the time go by faster or make you miss him any less. Just sit tight, and remember to breathe.





And go out with your girlfriends as often as possible! They are great distractions!
My fiance' is in the air force actually, so I understand what you're going through. I did not see him for 7 months, and two of those months we could not talk because he was in bootcamp so we wrote letters for the most part. It's hard, and yes the talking everyday does wonders, but you have to be in the right mindset during this time that you are apart. Try and think about it this way, the day that you see him again will feel like the first time you two fell in love. It is a wonderful feeling! It's good to have small keepsakes that remind you of him nearby. They are comforting when you start to miss him and they remind you of the memories you shared together. Just keep your head up and know that you love him and he loves you and that is all that matters. Distance is temporary. :)